Best Friend Wedding Blues

I always imagined I would be ecstatic when my best friend decided to get married. Instead, I went through the following stages:

1)      Denial: “No way, are you out of your mind?”

I kept telling myself how she was so much better than the guy she married. In reality, I did not want to accept the fact that she was ready to start a new chapter of her life so soon!

2)      Anger: “Why can’t he move here instead?”

When she told me she was moving to another city, denial turned into anger. I made a mental list of the ways in which Chennai sucked as compared to Mumbai. I reminded her how difficult life would be without friends and family, in a new home with new people.

3)      Bargaining: “Don’t you think you are rushing into this?”

The Sindhi that I am, I started bargaining with her to postpone her wedding or maybe even find another guy! Sick, right?

4)      Depression: “Shit, Shit, Shit, bye L”

Emotions ran high when I said goodbye to her one last time before she left for another city. I do not suppose we will be meeting often as I am off to study abroad next year.

5)      Acceptance: “Oh my God! Yeah, she does look gorgeous. And happy too.”

Seeing her as a beautiful, happy bride took me closer to acceptance. Looking back at the wedding photos, I realize it is her happiness which mattered the most! I only hope the turd who said “Distance only makes the heart grow fonder” knew what he was talking about.

Maybe I was a bad friend. Or maybe just human. All I want now is for her to not have kids by the time I finish my studies or we’ll have to start this Kubler-Ross cycle again!

Actually, I think I’ll get straight to the acceptance stage. Her kids are going to be cherubic and they ARE going to be spoiled rotten by their Aunt :D (Sayali, I hope reading this is not freaking you out!)

The fun wedding did ease off most of the pain. I got to learn more about the Tamilian culture. For me the highlights were, in no particular order:

• Eating awesome food off a banana leaf
• Practicing and performing for the Sangeet (a traditional song and dance ceremony). I wish I could share the bloopers here, but let’s just say we laughed our guts out. We made dance steps out of weird actions and people messed up like there was no tomorrow. We rocked the party with a pseudo flash mob on the song ‘Pistah’. To hell with perfection and grace!
• The fact that my friend would be christened ‘Amrutvelli’ post marriage. Please pronounce it  from the epiglottis: Am-rud-ah-vell-eeeeee
• The wedding rituals that were carried out to perfection. From the entertaining ‘Guy running off to Kashi’ ritual to the emotional ‘Girl sitting on Dad’s lap for Kanyadaan’, we enjoyed it all. We even earned a thousand bucks for lifting her up the highest when they exchanged garlands.
• Ganpati dance in front of the groom’s chariot. I do not suppose South Indians have the concept of a Baraat, but we danced and danced till every person who was shy of dancing came forward to join the fun.
• Back in the hotel room, seeing our guy friends shake their booty to supposedly female item songs. I never thought playing UNO could be so much fun. 
• Draping a sari horribly and hoping I looked decent
• The weather. I had to admit. It was better than Mumbai.
• I could go on and on about the after party but I am not going to for obvious reasons.
• The gift I gave my friend. I knew it meant a lot to her. I gave her a bracelet with the Madagascar characters. Now you may think what the deal was about a comic bracelet? When we were on a trip to Singapore, both of us had our eyes on a silly bracelet. It was too pricey to be purchased individually, so we split the cost and decided to rotate it between ourselves from time to time. I never gave it to her to wear on purpose. I had saved it for her big day. The look on her face on opening the gift box was priceless!

I simply hope she has many more such chances to be happy. And I hope I am better prepared to handle ‘change’ the next time on!

Saini and Jayanthy: This is not a go-ahead for you to get married.